When the Problem Doesn’t Make Sense: A Lesson in Persistence and Growth
Recently, my granddaughter came home from school with an unfinished arithmetic assignment she hadn’t been able to complete in class. More than that, she couldn’t make sense of it.
As she tried to explain the problem to me, she began to cry in frustration. She was convinced she was falling behind her classmates. What struck me most wasn’t the math itself — it was the weight she felt from not understanding.
After a short break, we sat down together. Instead of jumping in to “fix” it, I asked her to explain any part of the question she did understand. Slowly, cautiously, she began describing different ways the problem might be solved. Each attempt ended with the same realization: that approach wouldn’t get her to the right answer.
Then I asked a simple question:
If you could break the problem down into smaller, simpler steps, would that help?
She paused. Then she tried.
Piece by piece, step by step, she began to understand and within a few minutes, she solved the first problem. I wasn’t sure she’d want to continue — after all, this had been frustrating and emotional for her. But something shifted. Having solved one, her confidence grew and she was eager to continue.
That evening — and the next — she kept working. By the end of the week, the worksheet was complete and turned in.
The Bigger Lesson
Watching her persistence reminded me of something profound: growth is not reserved for children. At any age, we are challenged to become more than we currently are.
In coaching conversations, I encourage clients to adopt a growth mindset — to stretch beyond comfort, to stay with challenges long enough for clarity to emerge. But my granddaughter’s experience reminded me that I am not exempt from that same expectation.
When I feel uncertain in my work as a coach…
When I doubt whether I’m equipped for a new opportunity…
When something feels unfamiliar or difficult…
I need to do exactly what she did:
Pause.
Break it down.
Take the next manageable step.
Stay with it.
I have no business inviting clients into personal growth if I’m unwilling to lean into growth myself.
